There are some traits we should all have – like being helpful, confident, proud and humble, and enough has been written about them. What I want to touch upon in this article are some traits which we should aspire to have but not go too far in that aspiration either. It is very important to maintain the right balance in the extent to we have these traits. By focusing on these things in this article, the aim is only to become the best version of ourselves, and not to become better than anyone else.
Path 1 – Be Proud and Confident but not Arrogant and Cocky
The balanced man is sure, secure and certain but never has an exaggerated sense of one’s own abilities. He doesn’t need to have a victim to become victorious. He knows his strengths and weaknesses well, and knows when to seek help. If he has a good idea, he shares it with the world rather than keeping it to himself. He takes action regularly towards his objective, and these actions doesn’t need to put anybody else down. He has ‘real’ confidence, which is authentic and genuine, and doesn’t let his insecurities translate into over-confidence. The balanced man understands this difference.
There is a fine line between being confident and being an asshole. There is nothing wrong in taking pride in your achievements, but it is also equally important to have a beginner’s mind when starting new projects. You need to acknowledge your successes, but should not use it as a tool to demand certain privileges for yourself.
Life is a Balancing Act
Path 2 – Be Nice but Not Let Others Take You for a Ride
Just as pride is important, humility is also a very important trait. It keeps us grounded and prevents us from flying based on past laurels. You know that you are skillful, but you also know what are your skill gaps and where you need to seek help. Apart from humility, another aspect of being nice is being patient and tolerant. We should be tolerant of the opinions and views of others, and patient with people and situations if we don’t get immediate results. The balanced man understands that his opinion is also an ‘opinion’, and other opinions are just as valid as his.
Having said that, we should never stretch ‘being nice’ too far that others start taking us for granted. There will be times when you have to put your foot down and remind people that there are lines which they should not cross. Again, this should not be done arrogantly or with a feeling of superiority but with calm and compassion towards others. The balanced man focuses on solutions to problems, and understands that sometimes a more aggressive approach might be what is required. You might need to step away from a job, stop talking to someone for a while, and so on. The balanced man is strong enough to face some short term pain and hurt but do the appropriate thing. The balanced man never loses himself to please others, or for being nice. He always knows his values and principles, and act with strength if the situation requires so.
Path 3 – Work Hard and with Dedication, but don’t let Anything Become an Obsession
We all admire the people who work with dedication, take on new challenges in life and have a great work ethic. But we also realize that these people don’t have a life outside of work and their work life balance is not that balanced. As with most things, there is a fine line here too, a line between dedication and obsession which the balanced man understands well.
The balanced man knows that life is like a wheel with many spokes, and work is only one of it. The other spokes are relationships, health, continuous learning, recreation, among others. The balanced man has goals and goes after them with planning, but doesn’t exhaust himself chasing more and more work. The balanced man knows the power of focus – they focus on work fully when they are at work, and to their family when they are at home. He doesn’t let one spill into another’s territory. He knows how to have an enriching and balanced life, and also understands that being obsessed towards any one aspect of life will have it consequences too.
Path 4 – Help Others but Don’t Patronize Others
The balanced man knows not only that helping others is a true way to give back to the world, but also that being helpful has its limits. We should know that if people need to learn and grow, they might be required to fail and learn their own lessons on their way. While one should always strive to encourage and plug any knowledge gaps, the balanced man realizes that doing the job for someone else is only going to make the other person weaker in the long run. Assistance is required sometimes, but people should have the freedom to make their own mistakes and learn from them.
By being too helpful, we start patronizing others. We start to give the message – “You are no good”. It is an insult to another human being, to his talent, and more importantly, to his ability to learn and adapt to the situation. That is making another inferior and taking false pride is our own superiority.
Having these four traits, but knowing where to draw the line is what will make you a Balanced Man.
