Life

Articles about my life, experiences, learnings and more

There are 150 posts filed in Life (this is page 5 of 30).

2012 – The Year That Was

One year is not a very long time, so to speak. But what can change in one’s life in that one year has no boundaries. If I look back at where I was at the start of this year and where I am now, there are hardly anything in common.

I’m not in the same job as I was a year before, neither am I staying in the same home and city. The set of people I was talking to most in January and those with whom I interact with these days are totally different. Even at the deeper level of thoughts and consciousness, I am a very different person now than what I was a year ago ( thought still not very sure about this). I am thinking and acting about the same stuff differently, and have already done some things in this year which I thought I would never do.

The year started with a big change on the professional front – as I left Yahoo and got busy in setting up my own company. I enjoyed writing product specs, then coding most of them myself, releasing beta releases of my product and getting feedback from prospective customers. Then started the process of making business plans, pitching for funding to investors and forming partnerships with other entrepreneurs.

2013 - Happy New Year

2013 – Happy New Year

Working from home had another perk – I got to spend the maximum time with my parents, unless when I was out with friends or for work related meetings. Before I got the biggest jolt of my life in July, I enjoyed and cherished every second I spend with my parents in Bangalore. Although my mother was troubled by a leg injury at the beginning of the year, she was duly enjoying my being at home full time. We used to play and tease each other, and often run around the house chasing each other on trivial issues. But the most important thing was – she was truly happy and enjoying whatever Bangalore had to offer.

As the year ends, all these conflicting thoughts and emotions are settling and giving way to a peaceful state again. The anger and the upset is still there, but I guess there is less mental holding on to it now. It’s not like the emotions are not there, but now I am not so caught up in them.

It is said that the “mind” is our biggest treasure, the one thing which separate us from animals. But it can also be our biggest hindrance. The mind likes to think – about the past pains, about the future dreams, and so on. If we get too caught up with it, we risk missing the right here right now, this very moment. We can only cherish the present moment if we learn and practice to separate from our constantly spinning mind. And it also doesn’t mean that the pain will go away. It will stay with us, and there is no place to go. But it is all OK.. Just as it is!! There is no where else to go. Pain or pleasure, it doesn’t make any difference.

Sailing Over The River of Life

I usually maintain a small list of topics and bullet points on articles I want to write upon. Most of the times, I always have around five half-written articles in that document, from which I usually pick one and finish for posting. Even at this moment, I have a list of 5-10 such articles, all from more than 4 months ago when my life took a complete u-turn.

Though I have started writing again now, my frequency of writing is still very less. One reason for this is because most of the topics I have noted down to “write later” doesn’t seem relevant to me now, or the thoughts which I have already noted down seem alien to me now. Even from the already posted articles, my views are not aligned with many of them.

Of course, life happens over a large period of time, and it brings along its own challenges and surprises, successes and failures, learnings and lessons. And everybody’s thinking changes in the course of a life time. Looking back, I can very easily see how I (and my actions and behaviors) have changed multiple times. I can hardly recognize the person I was when I completed school, then when I completed engineering or when I moved to Bangalore in 2008. In fact, I can see a lot of changes in me from the person that I was just a few months ago.

Having said that, it would not be wrong to say that whatever I have done or thought in the past had certainly resonated with my thoughts at that time, even though I would not do many things the ‘same way‘ now. Standing in now, I don’t have any regrets on the decisions or actions I have taken in the past, even though I see many of them as mistakes or blunders now.

I have no idea what the future has in store for me, or what my thoughts would be in the future. I think what is important is going through with what we are thinking at this moment, and not taking actions based on what we have done in the past or how our thought process had been in the years gone by. Even if that means throwing away all the articles or topics I have already written, or taking a sudden career path, or deciding to interact with a different set of people – perhaps even in a new city or country.

This quote by Emma Smith looks so appropriate now – “Life is like the river, sometimes it sweeps you gently along and sometimes the rapids come out of nowhere.”

And that is what I am going to do, live each day as it comes, and doing what seems best at the moment, irrespective of how others feel about it, or even how I have felt about it in the past. Just as the flow of a river never stops until it joins the ocean, our lives also never stop or pass through the same spot twice. The river might change its direction due to obstacles in the path, which it either wears down or finds a way around until it reaches its destination, slowly and persistently. We should always do the same with our lives too.

Death is What Makes it all Worth it

The point I want to make through this article is the significance of death. In my opinion, death is the ultimate deadline, just like any other we face in our lives, given by our boss or wife. Death is what makes life relevant. What would life be if nobody would die? And life of people who forget that their life has a limit is a testimony to this fact.

The biggest blunder we can do with a deadline is forgetting that there is a deadline. What is a football match if there is no timing, and it continues forever? The end is what makes everything in this world worthwhile. As I said in a previous article, our task in life is to cause a disturbance in this world while we are alive, and death is the deadline for this task. Without death, this task would have no meaning. And it is only after death that we can measure what we have left behind.

I now know how true this is

I now know how true this is

And no deadline is the end, it is the beginning of something new. You finish a task on time – what do you get out of it? The task was most likely a vehicle to deliver something, to start something new. We don’t mourn the completion of a deadline, instead we celebrate!

With life, obviously there will be a grieving and mourning period if we loose our loved one (like my mom recently), but we must also make sure to celebrate the life of those who are no more with us.

In my case, my mother’s life was an investment – in creating the family that she has left behind. And as she used to say – “It is not the length of life that matters, it is the depth of it that does”. And I am testimony to the fact that in the 51 years that she lived, she did or achieved what most people can’t do even in a 100 years.

I know that a part of me has also died with her and this void can never be filled, but at the same time I realise that I must celebrate her life too – for the kind of love, courage, strength and mental toughness I saw in her was unmatchable. I (and we) must not forget that our life is a vehicle to start something new, make something better, and it continues after the deadline is over (death).

From birth till death, whatever we do or achieve are only the inputs or raw materials on which something great is about to be built in the future – the life after the deadline. Have you ever thought about that? What are the fruits of your life that the world will enjoy after it ends?

If we examine the lives of great leaders like Mahatama Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr, Henry Ford, etc we will realise it is not they who benefit out of their hard work but the future generations. Most of the times these leaders were not even alive to witness the fruits of their labor. It is ironical, but I guess that is just one of the paradoxes of life.

As Mark Twain once said – “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” Given the way my mother lived, it was no surprise that she went in peace. She did not once during her last 9 years of treatment showed any signs of worry (about death) or losing her composure.

In fact, she surprised everyone (doctors, relatives, etc) by the energy and love she carried around herself. Death is what makes our lives meaningful, irrespective of how painful they are.

Death is where it all starts, not where it all ends !!

The End, or a New Beginning?

It has been three months today since my mother passed away, and since I have written anything. Maybe because words aren’t enough to capture what is going on in my mind lately. Maybe because I don’t want the world to see me vulnerable. Maybe because I am scared or confused, frustrated and angry.. Or perhaps, it is life’s way of teaching me something new. Three months have passed, and although I am more at peace, I have come to realize that life will NEVER be the same again…

It has not been easy – these last three months. I have often found myself lost and asking questions like –  Where I am going? What purpose will it serve? What do I want? And who and what really matters? It has been a painful process, but I guess there are also some lessons and learnings in it. I have done things in the last three months I have never done before, or never thought I would do. But does anything matter?

As some of my friends have reminded me, I should write again. And so I am writing this small post to tell the world I am still alive. Life is turbulent, and I guess this is just one of those patches, and I will come out of it as a better person. And though I have not written lately, I have thought about writing a lot, and I will pick it up again soon. So hang in there, I feel a lot better every passing day.

I will leave you with this poem which I read somewhere and this is what I think She is trying to say to all her loved ones from wherever she is –

” When tomorrow starts without me, & I’m not there to see
Your eyes full of tears, showing your love for me

I wish you wouldn’t cry so much, the way you did that day
Thinking of the many things we didn’t get to say

I know how much you love me, as much as I love you
And each time you think of me, I’m thinking of you too

So when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand
An angel came & called my name & took me by my hand

It was time for me to take my place, in heaven far above
Leaving everyone behind, especially the ones I love

As I turned & walked away, a tear fell from my eye
Remembering the life I lived & why I had to die

I do not want to go, with having so much to do
It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you

So when tomorrow starts without me, don’t think that we’re apart
For every time you think of me, I am right there in your heart. “

My Four Probable Answers to What Exactly is Reality?

1. Agreements
Reality is just an agreed notion, either by a large number of people or by someone for whom we have the illusion of being an expert. For example – If a majority of people believe in a superstition or a religious practice, it is considered the truth in that part of the world. People are killed, children are raised, and wars are fought over such widely agreed beliefs. Similarly, if an expert says something, people tend to believe it as reality. If a doctor says you are ill, then you must be. If a scientists makes a remark, we take it very seriously even if it is totally opposite of what we believe in.

2. Standards Set by Average People
Most of the time people make rules just because they would be out of a job if they don’t do so. This is mostly true of people in power, whether they are in a government or in a school, college or a company. Most of the standards about what we should do, what we should not do, and how to do something and how not to, are made by some group of very average who are nominated (or elected) for that position. And it is amazing to see how so few people question them and live their whole lives driven by those standards. Watch the below video to get amazed.

3. What our mind/brain tells us?
The human brain takes in all perceptions from the outside world and forms a reality for us through our thoughts and perceptions. It is reflected in the ‘real’ world by the words we speak and write. What we observe is ‘instantly real’ for us? This is why we are so amazed by magic or optical illusions. But when someone explains the reasoning behind, we see a different reality. Why? Only because our brain changed our perception of reality on seeing the proof behind the magic? But in that moment, that illusion was our reality?

4. A Mirage and a Mystery
Life is at best, a mystery to humans, one bigger than we have the potential and capacity to understand. See this bizarre “Double Slit Experiment” done by Quantum Physicists to get the shock of your life. Who knows if there are multiple realities where every possible outcome is played out in a parallel universe. Each of us will observe something different depending on our frame of perception.