Life

Articles about my life, experiences, learnings and more

There are 150 posts filed in Life (this is page 4 of 30).

The Final Act

I have tried to scream, and to yell
Tried every way I could react,
But can you hear me? No one can tell..
How could this be the final act?

Sometimes I feel mad
So hard was the impact,
I sometimes wonder and feel sad
Is this curtains on the final act?

Motherhood

Motherhood

Suddenly I had to say Goodbye
It all seems so abstract
The only question I ask is – WHY
But no answers after the final act..

I think I lost a part of me,
As I no longer feel intact !
She must have completed her duty,
Without notice she scripted her final act !

Life only moves in one direction,
That is the only true fact !
I guess I have only one option,
To start afresh after her final act!!

3 Simple Secrets of Love

Life is simple, very simple indeed. But we humans take great pride in making it complicated. I think it is because we get our sense of worth by doing something tough, solving some complex problem or achieving some goal. So the idea of life being simple is very difficult to grasp for most of us.

Like life, the solutions or secrets behind solving most of our problems are also very simple. In this article I want to point out three very simple secrets for love. When I say love, I mean love between any two human beings, and not necessarily romantic love. It could also be love between two strangers, but the secrets are the same. Also they are nothing which you don’t already know or something which I have ‘discovered‘, they are plain old undeniable truths which we all are aware of, but rarely practice in our lives.

Here they go –

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. - Confucius

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. – Confucius

1. Delight at Sight

We all must ask ourselves a few questions here –

  • How excited are we on seeing our parents after coming home from work?
  • How happy are we on seeing our colleagues daily at work?
  • How joyful we become on meeting our friends over the weekend?
  • Do we smile and wish our neighbors when we crash into them every now and then?

Delight at sight means a feeling of absolute delight on seeing another human being. The delight of knowing that we have parents to care for us, friends to share a beer with, a spouse to share our life, and colleagues to work along with. Do we smile, run towards them, and wish or hug them with a big smile on our face?

We all know a few such people in our lives, and if we look deeply we will know that how much love they give and receive. If you have no human examples, look at your dog or cat and observe their behaviour. Can you see the “Delight at Sight” secret in them?

2. Marshal People By Example

Giving a lecture is so much easy than acting ourselves on what we are lecturing about. Just like writing this article is a lot more easy for me than to actually practice this stuff daily. But love spreads from sacrifice and compassion towards another, by teaching something by example. By doing something ourselves, and making ourselves a 10x better example of what we are trying to suggest/teach to the other person is the only way to sow the seeds of love in any relationship.

I can see my father as a perfect example of this. And I am sure we all can see the same in our parents. And it is a very hard process, as you have to continue practice living your life as an example, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, and so on. And if we want to preach a principle, we have to live our lives at least a 10 time multiple of that principle. It takes a BIG man to do that…

3. Heart to Heart

We should aspire to live more from our heart than from our brain. We should tap into the emotions and feelings which make us human (but not be driven by them) because the strongest human connections and love always originate from our hearts, and never from our brains. We should show an endless stream of compassion towards our fellow beings as each one of us is fighting very similar battles. Support people instead of criticizing, forgive them instead of holding a grudge and love them instead of judging them.

However, this is not something we should (or can) fake. Heart to Heart means being true to our feelings and never lying about how one feels. If you are sad – cry, if you are angry – shout; but get over it soon and pour out compassion for yourself and for others too. Do what you want to do, and give others space to do what they want to do.

Are You Out Of Balance In Your Life, And How To Maintain It

While cycling, many times we tilt over one side or the other, but we must bring our self back in balance, or else we will end up falling. The same goes for life and business, and basically everything that we do. We need to have the right balance between the various sides of your business, work, life or we will end up falling on one side.

From my experience, I can tell you that most of my life have been anything but balanced. Except in the last few years, I have always given more time to things that I was interested in, and not enough to uninteresting though important things. If in my school and college days I focused too much on computers to suffer in every other subject, in my professional life I have been too much of a workaholic to allow my health and family relationships suffer. We can keep doing this for sometime, but after a while, we need to maintain our balance or we end up falling on one side (bad scores, bad health, or broken relationships).

Without balance, this paradox becomes a reality

Without balance, this paradox becomes a reality

Maintaining a balanced life is a continuous journey and the definition of balance changes as our priorities change. While there is nothing wrong in being focused more on one aspect of life than another (like money over family, or work over health) but it is also important to realize that neglecting one part of life will have its consequences in the future. However, living a balanced life will have its trade offs too. If you are not putting as much hours in your office as your peers, you might end up getting less money or being passed over for that promotion. So it is always a trade-off and a personal decision.

Over Compensating One for the Other
Many people think that if they work harder in one area, results in that area can compensate for the lack of results in another area. For example – You might feel getting more money (and the power that comes with it) might compensate for the lack of time you spend with your family. But what I have seen is that, on the contrary, if you get more engaged in building your career and business, you get under a lot of obligations that you will have even less time for your other priorities.

Keep All Ends in Mind
Keeping both ends in mind, and understanding the trade-offs is the key to a balanced life. Depending on where your education, work, family, kids, contribution to society, or anything else sits on your priority list, you can tilt on one side from time to time, but you have to make sure of switching to the other sides too from time to time if you want to prevent a fall.

Pay Attention
To keep a balanced life, it is important to ask ourselves the hard questions about what our priorities are, and keep a close eye on the trade offs with each option. Examine different areas of your life and set goals which will decide the way you want to balance your life. Make a plan on how to do that, and stick to it. It is very important to learn to say ‘no’ to even big opportunities if they dont fit in your plan, or understand the trade offs if you say ‘yes’.

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” ― Albert Einstein

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
― Albert Einstein

5 Simple Ways We Can Slow Down and Make Our Each Day Worthwhile and Enjoyable

We all live our days hurrying through life, and going after tasks and deadlines. In this mad rush called life, it is very easy to miss all those little pleasures which each day has to offer. In the rush to live, we sometimes forget to pause and actually live the present moment. If you are not clear on what I am trying to convey, think when was the last time you ate lunch without thinking about that call in the afternoon or the deadline you have to complete by the end of day. When was the last time you really cherished the meal you ate, and tasted every flavor it had to offer, or thought about how it was made?

We should never forget this quote

We should never forget this quote

Taking a pause in doing our so called mundane and day to day tasks and savoring each moment of our days can be truly magical. And we can savor not just food, but anything else too. It is wonderful, and it changes everything. Below are some simple ways we can make our days truly wonderful, and to fully enjoy the gift each moment has to offer –

1. Food – So the next time we eat, let us savor each bite before we move on to take the next bite. Let us slow the eating process down, and give some space to the activity of eating. Let us eat to cherish the beautiful activity eating is, and not for just fueling up for the next task at work.
2. Exercise – Whenever you walk, jog, or do some other form of exercise, enjoy it fully. Do not let exercise become a chore to do just for keeping healthy, or some task we have to get over with. Go for a quiet run (remove the earphones) amid nature and listen to the birds chirping, and the sounds of twigs and leaves as you run past them. Notice your breathing, notice how you get tired, notice when you slow down. Feel the feet as it touches the ground, and feel the wind as it blows past you. Doing this will make exercising more enjoyable, and you will get more out of it.
3. Daily Commute – We all spend a lot of time commuting to and from work daily. Normally we just wait for the traffic to clear so that we reach our destination as soon as possible. But for a change next time, sit quietly and observe the surroundings on your way. Observe the different people in their cars and bikes, observe the street hawkers and shopkeepers by the road side, observe the kids playing near the traffic junction, or just watch the traffic cops do their job. Cherish the road the way it is – full of potholes or an expressway, cherish the trees and buildings you pass by. By doing that, we are not wasting our time in commuting, but we are enriching our experience of those few hours you spend daily to and from work.
4. Weather – Normally our experience of weather is to pass judgement – “it is too cold”, or “this humidity will kill me”, or “why did it had to rain today” and so on… Weather is not something in our control, so obviously we will be surprised by some sudden weather change. But instead of cursing it if it gets in our day to day lives, we can try to slow down and enjoy what it has to offer. If it is humid, let get drenched in sweat and take a shower when we get back home. If it is raining, let’s feel the rain drops on our body as a child does. If it is cold, let’s enjoy the chill while it lasts. The same goes for spring, summer and fall. Let us enjoy the beauty each season has to offer, rather than trying to suit the weather to our comfort.

"Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going to fast-you also miss the sense of where you are going and why." --Eddie Cantor

“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going to fast-you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.”
–Eddie Cantor

5. Writing – As with any other task, even writing gets enjoyable if we slow down and be with it fully. If we focus on our fingers as type (or write) words and sentences, and on the thoughts we are writing about, it becomes enjoyable. Notice how our thoughts turn into words and how lucky we are to be able to do so. Isn’t that realization enjoyable, and the experience something to be cherished!!

Stopping and enjoying every moment just the way it is, as I described above, is not easy and takes practice. You can do it right now – where ever you are and irrespective of what you are doing. When we slow down, we notice a lot of things we miss otherwise. These things are all very small and trivial, but enjoying them is what makes life worthwhile. Nothing can be as enjoyable as cherishing each moment as it comes, and whatever it brings with it.

How standing for something bigger than yourself is related to motivation?

Do you take big goals in life and then find yourself dis-empowered and not take any actions at the first sight of a breakdown. Doesn’t demotivation and procrastination set in when we face setbacks and lower than expected results? I have seen this many times in my own life. I decide on a new goal and make big plans for it which leaves me motivated and ready for action. But as soon as I face a few setbacks and know that the targets I set are not going to be achieved, I give up even on what moderate numbers I can achieve. Why so?

At the same time, there have been times, when I have seen myself work out of my own capacity, even when the chips are down. These were the times where I didn’t even make an effort to stay motivated, but somehow I went out of my skin to give my best. I have often wondered what has been the difference in these two cases? The difference I have observed is standing for something bigger than oneself.

Are people counting on you for something?
What I have observed is that people who were doing their best were often those on whom others were counting on for something. For example – I have seen my mother beat cancer three times and do things during her treatment that has astonished doctors and relatives alike. The kind of courage she showed made one of the top chemotherapy specialists of the country remark – “You are the only patient I have seen who keep on coming smiling and asks for one more round of chemotherapy!!” And she has gone through around 20 rounds of chemotherapy, and all have been miserably painful and unbearable for her. But what gave her this power?

What do you stand for?

What do you stand for?

I think it was because she knew her family was counting on her. Both of us brothers were still studying, and she wanted to see us achieve success in life. That is what she always told the doctors – “I am not dying now, before seeing my children grow up.” I am sure she would have given up far more easily if she wanted to get back healthy only for herself, as any cancer patient will testify that chemotherapy is even worse than dying. But she had a purpose larger than herself, and that made her victorious over cancer.

I have seen the same with myself when I was with InfoEdge in Noida leading a team of 14 people. Knowing that they were counting on me made me do things which I was neither willing nor capable of doing at that time. And that year is still one of the most humbling and learning experience of my life.

It is so easy to give up when you only think about yourself

When you are only worried about doing something for yourself, it is very hard to keep yourself motivated when you don’t see the expected results happening. We found it the most easy to give up on our promises to ourselves as it doesn’t seem ‘wrong’. That is why it is so hard to motivate ourself in the face of challenges and obstacles when we want something only for ourselves. It is so tough to take the tough decisions and keep going when we don’t have some bigger purpose to serve rather than just our own desires.

Conclusion
So the next time you find yourself dis-empowered, try to work out of a context which is bigger than yourself or what you want. The minute you stop focusing on yourself, all of your pity, self doubt and worry will melt away. You will find courage to deal with things, and a new found peace and satisfaction in your lives. You will do the hardest of tasks without getting tired. The more you think about yourself, the weaker you will become. The more you recognize that your life is serving a bigger purpose, the stronger you will become. And this holds true in all areas of life – family, work, business, etc.

And as I write this I realize that I have no such purpose left in my life bigger than myself.. and I know I need to find, or create one soon..