Life

Articles about my life, experiences, learnings and more

There are 150 posts filed in Life (this is page 19 of 30).

Seeking Comfort in Discomfort

A popular quote goes like this, “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”

Change and growth are very natural in life. And with every change, every growth there will be times when we will feel uncomfortable as an individual. Infact, growth is always uncomfortable. Lately I have realized that to evolve and grow, be it physical, emotional or spiritual growth, there will always be a certain level of discomfort. Or alternately, if you feel too comfortable in life, probably you are not growing.

Different situations might trigger discomfort for different people. For some, speaking at a public gathering might be uncomfortable and for some, trying a new sport might be uneasy. But all of these situations are those when we are forced to go outside of our comfort zone. The challenge when feeling uncomfortable is to embrace the situation and triumphing over our fear. Only then we will come out of a stagnant, dull life and move beyond fear. And “Darr ke Aage Jeet Hai.. ” (After fear, its victory)

Apart from situations, there could be people, interacting with whom makes us uneasy. This could also be a way of growing as our greatest teachers are those who will make us uneasy while pushing us to try new things and achieve greater heights. These individuals are like a calling for a better us, to develop an area within us which is not fully developed. So the next time you feel uncomfortable in the company of someone, ask yourself the question, are you willing to take it as a challenge to step up to the task? Are you willing to grow up to the level that this person and situation demands?

Most often, we are triggered by certain situations and individuals, and before we even realize, we might have acted in a certain way or said something unconsciously. It takes a lot of practice and patience to not to judge someone immediately on a trigger and say ‘I just don’t get her‘ or ‘He is wrong‘. We need to be patient as we find out how to grow to the next level so that our automatic alarm is not set off based on a person or a situation. As you move your focus from ‘whats wrong with others‘ to ‘what is needed of myself‘, you give yourself control and power rather than handing it out to people and situations. And believe me, it is easier to find blame in others but very challenging to look inside for introspection and areas of growth.

These last few months have been pretty uncomfortable for me, and thats good because there are many things or situations which used to make me uncomfortable six months ago but now I feel at home being in those situations, which means I have grown. I am by far the most uncomfortable these days than I have been in my entire life, but still there is a peace of mind like never before. It is because I know everything will be ok in time, and this period will leave me a better human being.

The important thing to remember is that, “Are we brave enough to continuously find uncomfortable challenges / situations in life to keep growing?“

The Paradoxical Commandments by Kent M Keith

Whenever I have read “The Paradoxical Commandments“, which is both a book (buy the book from Flipkart or Amazon) and a poem by Kent M Keith, it has left me inspired by the simplicity in the words and the deep message they hold. It says that the world is crazy, the people are crazy and we should not try to make sense of it. The more we try to make sense of it, the more we will get lost in it. But the point is also not to lose hope, not to complain but to accept (not tolerate) the world as it is. Only then can we be truly free.

He says the life’s lessons lies in its many paradoxes. A “paradox” is an idea that is contrary to popular opinion, something that seems to contradict common sense and yet is true. This book is about the Ten Paradoxical Commandments which I am listing below.

  1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
    Love them anyway.
  2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
    Do good anyway.
  3. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
    Succeed anyway.
  4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
    Do good anyway.
  5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
    Be honest and frank anyway.
  6. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
    Think big anyway.
  7. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
    Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
  8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
    Build anyway.
  9. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
    Help people anyway.
  10. Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
    Give the world the best you have anyway.

These paradoxical statements say that you can do good and what is right without waiting for other people to return the favor, or appreciate you in any way. If you can do this, then you are free. Free to find the meanings in the smallest of things. Free to do what you want irrespective of what others think or how the world will perceive it. The people who have done this have been able to find happiness unlike anything in this world.

P.S. – See a list of all my favorite books here..

Five lessons I have learned from failure

We all are human beings, we plan new things, we try them out, sometimes we succeed, and sometimes we fail. Although we always want to succeed and see failure as something which was ‘not expected‘ to happen, failures are inevitable along the way. And more often not, failures teach us more than any success can. Failure is often related with negative emotions. I want to challenge that negativity. Failures have taught me a lot and brought me where I am today. Even me writing this blog post is the result of failed attempt to do so in the past. Let me list down the five most important lessons I have learned from failure :-

1. Nobody is Special
If you think you are extra-talented, or very hard working and dedicated, it doesn’t matter. YOU WILL FAIL. Nobody is a guaranteed winner. We all are human, and like all humans, we will make mistakes too. So if we have any sense of being superior, better than others in skills or knowledge, we should give that up now before life hits us with reality. The only person who does not fail is the one who never tries anything. Many venture capitalists, when looking for a business to invest into, look for leaders who have started and failed before, because they know they are more likely to succeed in the future.

2. Nobody can do everything perfectly
No matter how much multi-tasking we can do or in however many fields we are an expert, we can’t do everything perfectly all the time. There is a saying that an expert is merely someone who has failed more than anyone else in that field. Michael Jordan, considered one of the greatest basketball players of all time, says that he has succeeded because of his constant failure. He lost almost 300 games and missed over 9000 shots, which is more than an average NBA player even plays in. He says he has used failure as motivation for his success. So no matter how good we are, we will need help from others to do what we want to do.

One of my favorite quotes about life

One of my favorite quotes about life

3. Plan for the worst case scenario
When taking upon something, I have learned that we must always prepare for the worst case scenario. What I mean is we should always have a Plan B and Plan C ready in case of when Plan A doesn’t work. And more often than not, you will need these backup plans. There is no point wondering over why Plan A did not work out as expected. It is more wise to learn our lessons from it, and move on to Plan B. The famous author Denis Waitley once said “Expect the best, plan for the worst, and prepare to be surprised.” That says it all!

4. No matter how successful in the past, we will fail again
When we taste success, our self confidence increases and we move ahead with more ambitious plans. At a time when everything has been going well and successes have been coming along on the way, a failure can be even more devastating. It can leave us in the ‘This can’t happen to me‘ state very easily as we were, more than ever, expecting a success now. The point is no matter how successful you have been in the past, you will fail again in the future. That is life, because successes don’t lead you to more successes, but failures do. Even the best of businessmen fail continuously as they expand their businesses. The only difference is that they welcome the failures and see them as stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks, in their way.

5. Failures are good, they lead to success
It might seem very ironical, but failures are good. Let me repeat again, Failures are Good. The only thing important is how we perceive it. There is a huge difference when a man says to himself, “I have failed three times“, to when he says, “I am a failure“. For it is said that failure is not the falling down, but the staying down. Thomas Edison, considered the greatest inventor of his time, kept on failing but he continued to try and try and try. He tried so many times that it took him 10,000 attempts to invent the light bulb. But we can see the positive outlook we should have towards failure when he said, ‘I have not failed. I have just found 9,999 ways that do not work.’

So let us try. Then try again. Then fail again. Fail better. Fail forward.. towards success!!

You Have Only One (life)

Life is short,
Make the most of it!
Life is a sport,
Go for the big hit!!

Dance in the rain,
And cherish the rainbow!
You won’t live it again,
Don’t make it a no-show!!

Love and learn,
Laugh your heart out!
This is your turn,
Play before you checkout!!

Life is everywhere,
Life is now!
Go out and dare,
Don’t think how!!

Life is a dance,
Go have some fun!
Take every chance,
You have only one!!

“Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.”

“Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.”


The Easy Way may not be the Right Way

It was room no 111 in HMS Hostel, Jaipur Engineering College where on the metal almirah of my roommate Vaibhav that this quote was written, “The Easy Way may not be the Right Way”. I used to see and ponder over it many times in those two years that me and Vaibhav shared that room. We had not written it, it was there on the almirah when we got it. I felt many times that it was like a message and was trying to imply something. But in those college days, who cared 🙂

Coming to think of it now, 6 years after college life ended and after being roughened up by the real world, its meaning is a lot more clearer. Everything we do, every problem we face, has two solutions or approaches to it. There will be an easy way, and one right way to do any task. The easy way might seem to be the only option, everybody might be doing that, but we will know whether it is the right one or not from our heart.

Climbing the mountain of life, the easy way or the right way

Climbing the mountain of life, the easy way or the right way

Let me put it another way. Life is like a mountain which we have to climb. There are two ways, the easy way and the right way. The easy way might be the elevator, we can stand on it and it will take us to the top. No problems whatsoever. The hard and right way would be to climb the mountain. This way we will get tired, might even get injured, but it will be challenging and an adventure. Both ways get us to the top, one way lot easier than another. But what we don’t see here is that the easy way keeps us weak and vulnerable. In the mountain of life when we come to a point where the elevator is not working or not available, we will be struck and not have the strength and skills to get past this problem.

What it also means is that going the easy way might benefit us in the short term, but in the long term, the right way will never fail us. In life, there are bound to be ups and downs and a wise man always remains prepared for the tough times. Choosing the path is a choice we have to make, and based on this choice, there will be consequences in future. And the short term good we see in the easy way is also an illusion and not real. For example, we can escape a cop by paying a bribe. That is the easy way, we got out quickly and cheap, and everybody seems to be doing it. But if we look in perspective, it also promotes corruption in society which spreads like a disease. And since we live in the same society, sooner or later, we will find ourselves in a disadvantageous position because of the disease which came into existence and spread when we choose the easy way.

I know it is easy to talk about such things but very difficult to apply when life presents such situations. And that is why choosing between the easy way and the right way is a test of moral character more than anything else. It is about working for the greater good, taking decisions that might seem tough (but right), and making some sacrifices (if required) for a better future for ourselves and future generations to come. So the next time we are faced with a tricky situation, let us ask ourselves, “Am I taking the easy way or the right way?“. The answer to this question and the path we take will decide our future and of the people around us.