Being a Woman, A privilege

A girl
Being born among us mortals,
On every step
You spread joy like angels!

Facing challenges
Many which only you can handle,
In dark times
You are the one to light a candle!

Woman
Amazing are your levels of energy,
In hard times
You feed others while staying hungry!

Cheering others
Even when you’re having an off day,
Doing your best
You make sure everything will be okay!

Happiness
You spread in the world around you,
With time
You hold people together like a glue!

Unconditional
Is your love to friends and family,
Every storm you
Take us through calmly & bravely!

Impossible
And beyond is where you function,
Because you
Have the privilege of being a woman!

What can I lose?

At every step new and unseen,
I am a little unsure and afraid!
It’s my choice, to go play outside,
Or just sit and rest in the shade!!

Every new idea I think and dream,
First seems crazy and idiotic!
But when I move ahead despite fears,
Results have not been short of magic!!

Sometimes I think and wonder,
The only one stopping me is myself!
Only if I can let go of the fearful me,
I can discover my true and real self!!

Thus every now and then,
I pick up an idea and just start!
For I have always been happiest,
When I have gone with my heart!!

Time will pass by and not wait,
Every second I have is hence precious!
Soon I realize what can I lose?
If I just do it, no point being cautious!!

You have nothing to lose but your chains - Karl Marx

You have nothing to lose but your chains - Karl Marx

The Importance of Keeping Faith: In Life, God, Destiny, Yourself

I am personally against the idea of God and the existence of a super being. Yet I am writing this article about the importance of keeping faith, be it faith in your religion and God, in life itself, or in yourself. Life can be strange, and it can make people change, and it has been the same with me. I have always been flexible and ready to change myself and my thinking about any aspect of life, and the last couple of years have certainly made an impact in the area of faith.

I was a god-fearing and ritual-following kid in my childhood. I can still recall a few instances where I followed superstitious rituals without questioning them only because my family used to follow them. But as I started to grow up, I saw my parents struggle in their finances, health, and business, day after day, year after year. I witnessed my father starting and closing down one business after another, and saw him being deceived by good friends and business partners. I saw my mother doing everything from handling multiple jobs, teaching us brothers and taking care of the entire household only to get sick with asthma, arthritis and later cancer. And all this while they had complete faith in GOD. This was enough to break my faith in the existence of God or any super being.

But I now think that I was too naive back then to understand the deeper meaning in what all was happening. All these years of struggle have made my parents what they are today. The tough times were life’s tests which made them stronger. And what I totally missed was how this childhood shaped me. It made me tougher, mature, and filled me with a desire to take on challenges in life continuously. And perhaps my childhood is the reason for my compassion and empathy towards the less privileged and weaker sections of our society.

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death

Life is a series of steps and milestones. Important events, whether positive or negative, mark these steps and our lives take a turn in a new direction. We always welcome the positive events, like marriage, a new job, or profits in business. But more often than not, we regret the negative events like the death of a near one, some major illness or some financial loss. We hold onto them and blame ourselves, others, situations, and sometimes even God.

What we forget is that everybody goes through these tough times. When we are going through these times, it is very easy to loose perspective and see only ourselves as the victim. In such times, having faith is very important. The faith which tells us to hold on, to keep our cool and maintain our strength and to wait patiently for better times. Even these negative events always have something positive in them, which we can not see at that point in time.

My mother says that cancer was the best thing that happened to her, but she never thought about it this way when doctors broke the news to her. But her treatment brought us closer as a family and helped clear a lot of doubts and misconceptions about many different people. It also made her see her priorities clearly as death was staring her in the face. It was only from her faith in God that she could gather the courage to fight cancer and emerge victorious, and three times at that. Similarly, we might not always be able to see the good coming our way in the future during a mishap or a disaster. We just have to keep our faith alive to be ready for whatever future riches life has in store for us.

As Steve Jobs said in his famous Stanford commencement speech, it is impossible to connect the ‘dots‘ looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking backwards. And so, in times of crises, it is very important to have faith that the dots will somehow connect in the future. The faith and trust could be in your destiny, God, life, karma or whatever.

For me, life was kind of shallow all those years I had lost faith. Each setback used to seem like a big conspiracy against me. And as humans, it is very easy to get into this mindset. And we only end up destroying our chances of future successes by holding on to these so-called setbacks. In Hindi, there is a popular saying, “Jo Hota Hai Achhe Ke Liye Hi Hota Hai“.. Now I realize it is not without reason we keep on hearing it so often from our elders.

Can we become a Hazare or a Gandhi? That would solve much more than corruption

We have seen a tremendous response to the peaceful protests triggered by Anna Hazare’s indefinite fast. People from all over the country, and even Indians living abroad, have shown their support for Anna Hazare and Jan Lokpal Bill by peacefully assembling and holding protest marches. He has united India across religions, caste, language or any other divisive factor. It is heartening to see India united for something other than cricket.

The number of people who have protested have been humungous by any standards. In Delhi and Mumbai each, more than a lakh people marched on 21 Aug 2011. Even in Bangalore, I have been hearing news of around 25000 or more people assembling daily. Similar stories are coming from other cities too, even smaller ones. While I don’t doubt that Anna has immensely resonated with the masses and given hope to millions of frustrated Indians, I also feel that going to a protest site is a very ‘easy and convenient‘ way of showing one’s support to Anna. A real test of commitment to Anna and his Gandhian methods of protest would be if we inculcate many of his preachings in our daily life.

Anna’s protest has been based on Gandhian principles of fasting and satyagraha. He has advocated the right of citizens to protest peacefully. He has asked people to pray for the ministers and the government. Gandhi ji also used fasting as a tool for punishing oneself so as to melt the hearts of your opponent and win him over to your side. But a big question to ask is, “Can the common man live by these principles?”

Truth

Can we truly live by Gandhian principles?

Can we truly live by Gandhian principles?

Gandhi’s whole philosophy is based on truth. In our everyday lives this would translate to questions like these

  • Can we live our lives truthfully and honestly, at home and at work, in public and in private, with friends and with family?
  • Can we pledge to follow the rules of the law and live like ideal citizens? Can we wear helmets every time we go out on a two-wheeler and can we not jump signals even if the roads are empty? (In the current movement, I have seen people on two-wheelers carrying the tricolor but without a helmet..)

Sacrifice

Gandhian methods of satyagraha and living a simple life resonates from the principle of sacrifice as a means to purify the opponent. In real life, this principle would translate to questions like –

  • Can we pledge to not give any bribe to a cop, babu or a politician?
  • Are we ready to suffer delays and other harassments which might occur when we refuse to pay bribes?
  • Are we ready to sacrifice our personal comfort for the greater goal of a just society?
  • Can we persist making these sacrifices and suffering even while others around us might not be doing so?

Love the Opponent

According to Gandhi, non-violence doesn’t only mean such in action, it is also meant in thoughts and words. To understand this, we need to ask ourselves questions like –

  • Can we truly remove the thoughts of hatred from our minds for those who have been unfair to us?
  • Can we love everyone alike, even our opponents, and demonstrate it in thought, word and deed?
  • Can we hate the sin and not the sinner, and stand up against the sin but continue to love and forgive the sinner?
Hazare, Gandhi and the Tiranga Waving Kids - Perfect Pic

Hazare, Gandhi and the Tiranga Waving Kids - A Perfect Pic

Equality and No Discrimination

The whole of Gandhi’s life and Anna Hazare’s work in Maharashtra has emphasized on the removal of untouchability and discrimination on basis of caste, language and social factors. The people of Ralegan Sidhi (Anna’s village) call it as a family and not as a village.

  • Can we treat our fellow citizens as brothers and sisters and part of the same family?
  • Can we look beyond our caste, language, economic status and love and treat each other alike?
  • Are we ready to practice what Gandhi said, that we are all children of the same God, and any kind of discrimination would be reprehensible to Him?

What I am trying to say that while it is very easy and convenient to show and voice our support in Anna Hazare in a rally, it would be very demanding and challenging to practice what Anna is following in his daily life. We might have to suffer some short term difficulties and make some sacrifices, but we all know in our hearts that the long term benefits of such a life are always good and more fulfilling. And leave alone corruption, we would remove all or most of the ills that plague our society if we live by the principles by which Anna, and other Gandhi followers live by.

There is a famous Chinese proverb which I think has a very deep meaning which says – “Laws control the lesser man. Right conduct controls the greater one.” Can we answer YES to the questions I have listed above? Please leave your views and responses as comments below.. If there are any other questions you might want to add to the list, add them as comments too πŸ™‚

Let Go of Your Expectations

β€œThe best things in life are unexpected – because there were no expectations.” goes a popular quote by Eli Khamarov. How simple, yet how true. The best moments in our lives always tend to be those where something surprises us. And most of these times there are no expectations. We really cherish these moments in life for long. If we start having expectations from these situations too, even they will cease to be enjoyable.

Expectation is a big and hard word. Big because it means and cover so many aspects of life. Hard because it causes so much pain and disappointments in our everyday lives. Expectations are like some fairy tale stories, myths or assumptions which we might have based on our childhood, culture or past experiences. All these expectations only causes friction in our day to day lives, friction between people, friction with situations, and so on.

When a person’s behavior doesn’t match our expectations, or a situation doesn’t span out as we might have liked it to, we can either try to change the person or the situation, or we can let it go. We don’t have any power over how our days and our life will go by. Our assumptions and expectations seem to give us an illusion of some kind of control over our lives, and that is why it is always liberating to let them go. Only once we let it go we notice a world that we have not noticed while we were trying to control the flow of our lives.

Expectations Causes Stress
If we see any of our problems and negative emotions, they are released as a result of some unmet expectation. When we try to fight what happened with a ‘this shouldn’t have happened‘ attitude, the result is friction and stress. We should strive to live our life without expectations from people or situations to be really happy. That doesn’t mean not keeping goals and planning for it, it means taking what life hands us and not try to fight it due to some assumptions.

Accept the World as It Is
We should accept situations and people as they are, and not try to change them according to our expectations. Once we realise that our way of thinking is not the only right way, we will find it easy to change our expectations, or completely drop them. It is not to say that we should not act or do nothing. We should still take actions based on our values and plans, but without expectations. In this way, in case of unmet expectations, we can learn lessons without any disappointments and move on with the next set of plans and actions.

Expectations burden us down, Let them go and Experience Freedom

Expectations burden us down, Let them go and Experience Freedom

Be aware, but Let Go
Expectations are an inherent part of life and as human beings, we will always have them. When we do something good, we will always expect some praise. The important thing here is to notice our expectations, become aware of them, and then let go of them. Most of the times we are not even aware that an unmet expectation is causing stress. Only once we are aware, we can let them go which is truly liberating.

Float in the World
We should strive to enjoy the world as it is, full of all its uncertainties and surprises. Expectations usually blocks us from enjoying the current moment. Accepting things as they are is the key to experiencing freedom. Once we let go, we can really float in life and we will not miss the many goods and positive surprises which life have in store for us every second.

So keep your goals, keep your plans, take actions accordingly, but let go of your expectations of any result. It is not easy to do so, as expecting a result is a normal human way to act. But only as human beings we have the power of letting go of our expectations from others and situations. And personally I have seen, letting go actually increases your chances of success in a specific task.